Another Pin

To clarify my meaning I must first share what I knew my purpose in life was up to this point in time. I came to the awareness of this specific purpose shortly after my second wife and I were married back in 1988. The process by which I became aware of it was subtle, synchronistic, and spiritual. This only makes sense since the specific purpose itself was spiritual in nature.

As I will explain in more detail later, my family - parents, brothers and sisters - were the bearers of the deeper pain and self-doubt of previous generations. This pain and self-doubt can manifest itself in many negative forms of expression. As I began to see the root and history of these expressions and the crippling affect they had on us all - my vision became all too clear. Break the chain that binds me so the cycle doesn't continue in my children.


Now that our baby is thirteen years old, I am confident that this has been accomplished for our four children and my two older daughters (from my first marriage). And I am thankful to all those who played a part in bringing this process about - and there are many.

Unfortunately, due to let-downs in other areas of my life I failed to fully appreciate that success, and found myself in spiritual limbo - not having a clear vision of purpose. So I clung to the specific purpose every husband & father has - provide for my wife and family. Here to though I was often more aware of my failures than I was of my successes. Admittedly there were times that I felt I was hanging on by the thinnest of threads. And to this day I cannot say for certain what enabled me to endure and continue on. I just remember that I had to keep breathing, keep going, and not give up. It may seem humorous looking at it from the outside, but I recall relating so well to the Tom Hanks movie - Cast Away.

Steadily though things improved over the course of several years. And the restoration of my relationships with my two oldest daughters came to me like an oasis in the deepest desert, and new life returned to my withered soul.

And as the wounds of the past continued to heal it wasn't long before I could again look to the future. And now that future is upon me, and the clarity of my spiritual purpose is beginning to come into focus. There is a bridge, another pin other than death, by which we can embrace the "pure radiance" of our individual and collective spiritual purpose. Recent circumstances have led me to believe that I am part of that bridge. Now begins the journey of identifying the specific purpose and path by which I can fulfill that purpose for myself and others.

And like my purpose of the past, I am certain that there will be many who touch and are touched in the process.

I'm excited for what the future holds.